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My Amazing Mom

Gloria Jean SpencerToday is an extremely special and important day for mother’s all over this great country… yep, it’s MOTHER’S DAY. This is one my favorite holidays each year because it gives everyone a chance to acknowledge and recognize the hardest job ever bestowed upon the human race. I know there are all types of mothers, and I know that all mothers are different, and some of you may not share my opinion of how amazing mom’s are, but I can only speak from my experiences and pull from the examples that I grew up observing in my family. I was very blessed to have such strong and loving women in my family. My mom Gloria, both my grandmothers Carrie Moore, and Iva Rae (whom we affectionately called Mua), my great grandmother Sadie, and my big sister Trina. They all share a special and unique gift that makes them great mothers; and that’s the gift of SELFLESSNESS. They all put the needs of their children and family above their own. Even though my sister and I are adults now, our mother still does this. When I was younger, I didn’t realize how much my mom sacrificed to make my sister and I have a happy and comfortable life. Whenever I reflect on my childhood, I sit in complete amazment at everything that her and my dad went through to give my sister and I a happy life.
When I was around 3 years old, I started to get sick a lot, and I would cry all day and night and rub my legs. They took me to a doctor in Washington and told him about my symptoms. The doctor told my parents that nothing was wrong with me, and sent us home with some baby Tylenol. Over the next week, my symptoms just got worse and worse. I cried all through the night and my mom would stay up with me and try to make me feel better. She went days and days with no sleep at all. Then I completely stopped walking. They would try to put me on my feet, and I would resist. So my mom took me back to the doctor and told them about my new symptoms and told them that I cried constantly, and told them that I looked like I was in a lot of pain, and told them that she knew something was wrong with me. The same doctor examined me and told her that nothing was wrong again. I can only imagine how frustrating this must have been for both my parents. A mother knows her child just as well as she knows herself, and she knew that I was in pain, but no one would help. That had to be seriously hard to watch your child hurting and there’s nothing you can do to help and make it better. The next morning my mom told my dad that she was going to take me to as many doctors and hospitals she could find, until someone could give her some answers. They both took off of work and drove to Greenville and took me to Pitt Memorial hospital and explained everything to the pediatrician. They ran all kinds of tests on me that very day, and finally came up with some answers.

They diagnosed me with Sickle Cell and immediately checked me into the hospital. The doctors told her that she brought me in just in the nick-of-time, because if they had waited any longer I would of probably died. They kept me in the hospital for over a month, and my mom slept in my room with me every single night in a chair beside my hospital bed. After I started feeling better, I had to learn how to walk all over again at 3 years old. From then on, every time I got sick and had to be hospitalized, my mom stayed with me every single night. She would go home for a quick shower early in the morning and get ready for work because she needed her job. After work, she would come straight back to the hospital and spend the night with me. I don’t know how she did all this for that long. I know having a sick child takes a toll on the parents, but they never let me see the pain they must have felt. Through out my childhood my medical care was very expensive. The doctor bills were more than any other expense that my family had. More than our house, more than our cars, way more than any bill they had. When I got older and started to think about it, I realized how huge of a financial burden my illness was. And what’s even more amazing, is that I never heard not even one word about any doctor bills. Now that’s a testament to their amazing parenting skills. If I had known how much my doctor bills were costing my family, I would of felt horrible… and they knew this, so they shielded me from stuff like that to protect me.

My mom is the definition of what a “phenomenal woman” should be. She takes care of all of us (my dad included lol), she works full time, she’s very involved and dedicated to her church (and she’s the church sectary), she would give her last dime to me if I needed it, she makes sure I take care of my health and keep my doctor appointments, and she cooks my favorite meal anytime I request it. That’s why my mom is the most beautiful, most caring, most loving, most giving, most kind-hearted and selfless person I’ve ever known. Without her, my dad, my sister, my nephews and I would be completely lost. She’s the glue that holds this family together, and the motivator that keeps us inspired. Whenever someone compliments me on my great fashion sense and style, they’re complimenting my mom too. She’s the one that taught my sister and I how to be stylish and unique. When it comes to fashion, my mom never makes a wrong move. She’ll be 90 years old, and still decked-out from head to toe (lol).


I love my mom, and I could never repay her for everything she’s done for me. Words can’t even express how much I owe and appreciate her. She’s one of a kind, and I thank God every single day for giving me my mom.

DeMon’s Dilemma

It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog about something personal in my life.  Here lately politics have consumed most of my attention, therefore my writing has shown that.  But as I sit here in my room at 6am taking advantage of the quiet calm that dawn has presented me, I begin to reflect upon my personal relationships and how I interact within these relationships.  The genuine connections I have with my family and close friends have always been extremely important to me.  But being gay and closeted for my entire life up until I was 19 or 20 effected those relationships, and what parts of my personality I felt comfortable sharing with them.  I loved and desperately needed these people in my life, and I thought if they knew who I really was then I’d lose them.  So I learned how to compartmentalize different aspects of my personality and modify those characteristics that I thought might expose my secret.  I became really good at analyzing people to figure out who they wanted me to be and what attributes they felt the most comfortable with.  So in my head I thought that’s who they wanted me to be, so in-turn I would try and portray that when I was around that person.  After doing that for almost my whole life, I began to question every single thing about me and my personality.  What was real and what was an act.  After struggling with who I am and wrestling with self-hatred for all those years, somehow I finally found the courage admit to myself and to my friends that I was gay.  I was so blessed to have amazing friends in my life that genuinely love and accepted me unconditionally.  They have no idea how big of a role their acceptance played in making me feel good about myself for the first time in my life.  Without Shante Mika and Jessie, I might be dead right now… no joke.  Then about 4 years after I came out to my friends, my family finds out. I won’t get into how they found out, but I will say it wasn’t a pleasant situation, and probably one of the darkest periods in my life thus far.  So after that pretty much everyone in my life knew about my sexuality, then there was no need for me to be so guarded, scared, and cautious anymore.  I could just be me… right?  Well that’s what I thought at first, but things aren’t like that at all.  Let me explain:  After building a personal relationship with someone throughout your whole life, you and that particular person have created a certain rapport with each other. The familiar way you two interact is what makes your relationship comfortable, so that’s what you come to expect from that person.  So now that I’m not closeted anymore, I don’t feel comfortable putting on that act.  So my relationships with those people becomes a huge dilemma.  I don’t know how to be “me” around them.  I can feel that they’re uncomfortable with my sexuality because they don’t want to acknowledge it or talk about it.  They want me to be the person they are use to, but they don’t understand that that person wasn’t me.  So because of all that, I just try and keep my distance.  I don’t want to give them the chance to reject me.  This is the case with a lot of my family right now (most, but NOT all).  I have no idea how to act around them. 

I’m not sure if I articulated my thoughts and feelings clearly in this post, but I hope that whoever reads this will get some kind of understanding out of it.  This is a hard situation to put into words because there’s so much emotion behind it.  Maybe I’ll do a video blog later on to try and explain things a little better.  If you did pick up on the point I was trying to get across, then leave me a short comment or a private message to let me know.

A Very Special Valentines Day Message

Just in case you’re one of those lame ass couples I just talked about, here are some Valentines Day gift ideas picked personally by me, just to show there’s no hard feelings.  I’m hopelessly single, so cut me a little slack.  I think I’m allowed to hate just a little.  After February 14th has come and gone, I promise not to engage in any other hater type behavior for the rest of the year.

Broken Spirit

Today I feel so very sad, tired, and somewhat defeated. My initial outrage and anger (that I felt when I first became aware of Uganda’s gay death penalty bill) has slowly turned into angst on the cusp of despair. I grew up in a very rural extremely small White town in the south right in the heart of “The Bible Belt”, so I’m very well aware of the homophobia that exist in most conservative and Christian households here, so I’m not at all naive about their beliefs and opinions about gays. I usually just chalk-it-up to ignorance, and continue living my life as open and honest as I can. I’ve always believed that my character as a person who happens to be gay, is a lot more effective in changing the minds of those that are homophobic, way better than any magazine article, movie, argument, debate, march, or protest can. By knowing someone who’s gay, they can see them as a person with the same hopes and dreams as they have, and not just an issue to be for or against. But when I learned that an American “Christian” evangelical group were going back and forth to Uganda to aide them in committing the worst human rights atrocity in my lifetime, I began to lose my faith in the goodness of man and doubt the compassion and love in Christianity. I know this particular situation with Uganda involves only one of many religious organizations and/or churches, but I feel that a majority of those groups and churches share equal blame in this. By not speaking out against an injustice of this magnitude, it makes them culpable. The few that have came out with public statements are choosing their words very carefully so they can appear sympathetic to the gay community without admitting that their homophobia indirectly contributed to the creation of this “kill the gays” bill. The only thing that frustrates me just as much as homophobia is unacknowledged and/or unaddressed hypocrisy. And these people are pushing both buttons at once.

While I was reading the latest developments about this story, searching different blogs and established print media (on the web); I stumbled upon something that switched my anger into utter despair. I noticed that a majority of the comments that were left on all the African American targeted blogs were siding with Uganda’s attempt to execute gays. That just blew me away. I really didn’t expect that amount of hatred from my own race. A race that I’m proud to be a part of, a race that has first hand knowledge of how oppression and violent injustice feels. I just don’t understand… why, or how this came to be. I would of never guessed that my race would ever under any circumstances, take on the role of the oppressor. I just can’t get my head around that one. I’ve tried and tried and tried to make sense of it all, but disappointingly, it turns into a contest of futility. If I can’t convince my own race to change and see things rationally, then what chances do I have to convince a whole country.


Uganda’s Anti-Homosexuality Bill is a piece of proposed legislation under consideration in Uganda. It was proposed on 13 October 2009 by… more

Perplexed over Obama’s Choice, Rick Warren

I know I said I wouldn’t get too political on this blog (which is supposed to be a lighthearted look into pop culture), but I feel this issue is important enough to veer into the world of politics just this one time. I feel justified in doing this because the line dividing pop culture from politics seem to be disappearing currently anyway (sign of the time we live in I guess).

I’m perplexed over President Obama’s choice of Pastor Rick Warren to do the invocation at his inauguration. Here’s a little back-story about Rick Warren:
He’s an evangelical preacher with a HUGE following. He has very outspoken anti-gay views. Earlier this year he lead the charge to pass proposition 8 in California, which repealed an earlier judicial decision to legally recognize gay marriage in that state. This homophobic bigot has also equated homosexuality with pedophilia and bestiality in numerous interviews and sermons. Despite all this, his church boasts having the 3rd largest congregation in the US with a seating capacity of 3,500. He built a $20 million dollar student ministry facility called the Refinery. It houses the middle school (Wildside) and high school (HSM) consisting of nearly 1,500 students. He is most famously known for a book he wrote called “The Purpose Driven Life” which has sold over 20 million copies, becoming one of the best selling non-fiction books of all time. That’s what makes this man so dangerous to anyone that believes in civil rights, and the separation of church and state. He’s not some lone backwoods nutcase living out in the woods somewhere in West Virginia. He’s an opportunistic religious leader with the ear of white middle America. Whenever I would hear people talk about how polarized this country is, I really didn’t give it much thought. I chalked it up to media hype, and republican spin… but this whole situation with Rick Warren opened my eyes to a dark and glib reality. There’s a huge force of Christian Evangelicals that are growing in number as we speak. They want to impose their beliefs and way of life on everyone living in the US. And they think anyone that’s not straight white and Christian doesn’t deserve any rights or protection under this government. I’m sure I made my opinion of Pastor Warren very clear. So you might ask, what am I perplexed over? I obviously disagree with this man, and his perversion Christianity… so you’d think I’d be 100% against and strongly opposed to Obama choosing him to speak at his inauguration? …right? Well, not exactly… and here’s why:

When Obama announced his decision to run for president, I really didn’t know much about him. I knew he was a Senator, and I remembered what a great speech he gave during the Democratic convention back in 2004 when John Kerry was running. Other than that, I didn’t know a thing about this man or his beliefs. The more I found out about him, and the more I found out about his politics, I instantly switched my whole attitude about politics from absolute cynicism, to energized optimism. I made it my business to do anything I could to help this man get in office. I happily volunteered at the local Democratic office every chance I got. I wholeheartedly believe in this man and his ability to lead this country in the right direction. When Obama won the election, he said something that made a whole lot of sense, and it was so simple and so true, it made me think why haven’t I heard this before from any politician. He said that although a majority of America cast their vote for him, he still had a great number of Americans that voted the other way. He then went on to say that he’s not going to be President to just the “blue states” and all who voted for him, but all of America. He said he wanted his office to be as inclusive and diverse as our country is. That means that we need to listen to those we agree with, as well as the ones we disagree with. That’s what a true democracy is supposed to be. We’re still extremely polarized in this country, but ignoring a particular group just gives them more power and more of a reason to separate themselves from us. In a way it legitimizes their cause. So even-though I don’t agree with Pastor Rick Warren, he has very strong influence with middle America. And the way our economy is looking, we can’t afford to ostracize anyone.

I think we need to change the way we look at politics. We’re so use to the “status quo”, of how our government and elected officials operate, that we think that is the way it should be done. For instance, everyone has made such a big deal over Obama’s staff choices. He has women, men, Democrats, Republicans, Blacks, Whites, Asians, etc etc. He’s picking the people that he thinks are best qualified for whatever position. Previous Presidents have always picked only staff members from their political party, and family members, and even people that they owe a favor to. We’ve seen this happen that way for so long, that we’re blinded to the ugliness of it.

Ok, there’s my “two cents” (lol). In conclusion, I strongly disagree with all of Pastor Warren’s religious and political views, but I think President Obama made a wise choice in choosing him. He’s reaching out to a huge Evangelical community, and showing them and all Americans a lesson in love and togetherness.

Embedded video from CNN Video

Hot New Song by Me


Take a listen to my new song, and let me know what you think. Don’t forget to add yourself to my “fan” list also.

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