Today I feel so very sad, tired, and somewhat defeated. My initial outrage and anger (that I felt when I first became aware of Uganda’s gay death penalty bill) has slowly turned into angst on the cusp of despair. I grew up in a very rural extremely small White town in the south right in the heart of “The Bible Belt”, so I’m very well aware of the homophobia that exist in most conservative and Christian households here, so I’m not at all naive about their beliefs and opinions about gays. I usually just chalk-it-up to ignorance, and continue living my life as open and honest as I can. I’ve always believed that my character as a person who happens to be gay, is a lot more effective in changing the minds of those that are homophobic, way better than any magazine article, movie, argument, debate, march, or protest can. By knowing someone who’s gay, they can see them as a person with the same hopes and dreams as they have, and not just an issue to be for or against. But when I learned that an American “Christian” evangelical group were going back and forth to Uganda to aide them in committing the worst human rights atrocity in my lifetime, I began to lose my faith in the goodness of man and doubt the compassion and love in Christianity. I know this particular situation with Uganda involves only one of many religious organizations and/or churches, but I feel that a majority of those groups and churches share equal blame in this. By not speaking out against an injustice of this magnitude, it makes them culpable. The few that have came out with public statements are choosing their words very carefully so they can appear sympathetic to the gay community without admitting that their homophobia indirectly contributed to the creation of this “kill the gays” bill. The only thing that frustrates me just as much as homophobia is unacknowledged and/or unaddressed hypocrisy. And these people are pushing both buttons at once.
While I was reading the latest developments about this story, searching different blogs and established print media (on the web); I stumbled upon something that switched my anger into utter despair. I noticed that a majority of the comments that were left on all the African American targeted blogs were siding with Uganda’s attempt to execute gays. That just blew me away. I really didn’t expect that amount of hatred from my own race. A race that I’m proud to be a part of, a race that has first hand knowledge of how oppression and violent injustice feels. I just don’t understand… why, or how this came to be. I would of never guessed that my race would ever under any circumstances, take on the role of the oppressor. I just can’t get my head around that one. I’ve tried and tried and tried to make sense of it all, but disappointingly, it turns into a contest of futility. If I can’t convince my own race to change and see things rationally, then what chances do I have to convince a whole country.
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